stophatingyourbody:

Triggers: Depression, Infertility 

‘Ello! I’m Kattie, I’m 22, single, and infertile.

It’s not the outside, it’s the inside that I hate. 

This is my story.

I had my last (natural) period in November of 2006, I was 17. At first I didn’t think anything was wrong. Stress of being a senior, and some family issues, made me stop having one. Well before I knew it 6 months went by and still no period. By then I was sexually active, and had to go in for my first PAP!!! The joys of womanhood! When my doctor questioned about my last period, some eyebrows were raised. But a quick pregnancy test put what little worry I had to bed. She blamed it on my weight. I went 21 months, almost 2 solid years without a period. I only started again because I asked to be put on birth control.  If I wasn’t taking those pills I wasn’t having a period. I didn’t stay on them long. I took me another year to convince my doctor to do blood work. Even then she didn’t run all the tests that she needed too. Again she blamed my weight, said that I was fine.

I knew something was different about me.

It took me another 2 years to get the courage to see a specialist.

This summer I had vial after vial of blood drain. Scans were run. And results were read.  It all came down to the fact that I don’t ovulate. My ovaries don’t work.

And on top of that I still have to have a period. So I HAVE to be on the pill. Even if I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.

I will never know what it feels like to have a baby grow inside me, and it makes it so hard when I see women just go “Oops!” and out one comes.

But I realize that this doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t be a mom. It just means that I won’t be giving birth to them. 

I’m living my life. I’m learning to be happy with what I got. Feel free to see my tumblr http://theunsatisfiedlover.tumblr.com/ and see how I express myself. 

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!